Home School Life

It’s taken me a long time to figure out the importance of form in a child’s life. When I was a young, new mother my little one was the center of my universe and I felt that nothing was more important than his freedom to explore the world at will. Forget about the dirty laundry, the toy-strewn living room, and my son’s sometimes annoying habit of turning my turkey baster into a weapon — if he was happily exploring his world, I was happy, too. We were free and easy, unbeholden to anyone or anything.

As my children have gotten older, though, I’ve realized that the realities of the world really do need to step-in and impose their limitations. It started with chores (yes, you do have to pick up toys), regular bathtimes (with time limits, mind you) and regular mealtimes (at the table WITH silverware.) These days form reigns supreme. We get up (7:00). Eat breakfast (7:30). Get dressed (7:42). Pack lunches (8:01). Brush teeth (8:14). Walk out the door (8:24). In that order. Every morning. It’s not a rut. It’s not a routine. It’s a comfortable, regular rhythm. We like it.

I’ve realized that having this regular form and rhythm not only helps us make sure we’re doing what we need to be doing, but it also helps to provide discipline. Problems fall away because the form is holding us in check. We feel comforted knowing this and we don’t have to BE disciplined because in holding the form we ARE disciplined. Through this form my children are building a sense of responsibility and exercising within themselves the will forces to hold a task and carry it through. Just as great a gift as any free-wheeling discovery they might make.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that through this form comes the freedom to explore the world with the wild abandon I sometimes yearn for. Without having a comfortable, reliable form we cannot feel safe enough to explore the world with freedom. So everytime I require my children to do their dinnertime chores (without pay), ask to be excused from the table (with hands in lap and food swallowed, thank you very much), or write out thank you notes for their birthday gifts (ahem, Leo) I satisfy my free-thinking side by imagining all the fun they’re going to have with the freedom that will result from all of this form!

Yippee!