Jan 07 2010
plagued by the orange folder
Last night homework time rolled around and Alice could not, for the life of her, find her orange homework folder. We turned the house upside-down, called Dad to see if it was at his house and came up empty. Must be at school, we thought.
Tonight, homework time rolls around and I ask Alice if she found her folder and no, couldn’t find it anywhere. I looked at school myself — nuthin’. Again, we turned the house upside-down, called Dad (”are you sure?”) — no luck.
I’ll admit, it was a moment I felt tested and tried as a parent. I was frustrated, sure, but even if I put that aside, what is the appropriate response? The natural consequence believer in me says to let her suffer the consequence of not having her homework at school (study hall? missed recess?). But the teacher in me reminds me that it is a parent’s job to support the child and the teacher by helping to ensure that homework gets done. Also, consequences at home for unfinished schoolwork supports what is happening at school.
So, what did I do? After dinner Alice was sent to her room to tidy and look for her folder until I told her she could come out. Is this an appropriate response? In some ways. It’s definitely a logical consequence (we were trying to find the dang folder, after all). But it wasn’t really a memorable one. She loves her room. She probably would have gone there anyway. But, my children live a pretty simple life — there’s not much to take away (”no handwork for a week!” sounds a bit ridiculous). Maybe I need to start allowing them more privileges just so I have something to take away when I need to!
I have a feeling that the real consequence will come tomorrow when all of her classmates get out their homework to turn in and she’s without it.
Maybe after that my easily distracted, forgetful little one will try a little bit harder.
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I would see this as a teachable moment . . . as in teaching her methods and techniques for remembering things. I recently read about a guy who has a list of 10 things he never leaves the house without (cell phone, keys, etc.). Before he walks out the door, he runs down the list of the 10 things and makes sure he has them all. Give her a specific spot in the house where her school stuff goes. After she takes something out, she puts it right back in that spot. Pretty soon this will become habit forming. Grandmas who can’t trust their memories anymore have to do things like this. By the way, I have a black jacket at my house. Does it belong to anyone over there?
Yes, definitely! Turns out it was in Mike’s car in the pocket behind the passenger seat. Having two houses to worry about definitely makes things more complicated! We’re getting a bit more organized around here, though. Packing lunches, doing chores, it’s all coming together.
How wonderul that your kids’ lives are so simple that you have to struggle to find something to take away. I think that’s a really good thing.
Kristina
Sweetfern Handmade