Home School Life

 It’s 6:30am and I’m sitting in my living room, the dog at my feet, the cool glow of the computer screen the only light in the room. Children are sleeping, the house is still warming up, I’m still in glasses and pajamas. I always forget how delicious early mornings are.

Feeling a little under the weather I went to bed at 9 last night. At 5:30 this morning I was awake and there was no going back. Lula was also ready to get up, so I snuck out of bed (which was shared with 14-year-old Calvin last night) and felt my way down the stairs and to my kettle.

For a long time I’ve been a night owl. Ever since having children I have felt the need to stay up quite late so I can savor and prolong my mommy-time. I’ve noticed lately, though, that I haven’t needed that time in the same way. I still love staying up late working on projects, but I don’t need it as much as I used to. I remember so clearly those nights when I would fall asleep putting the children to bed. Most nights I would wake up at midnight, or even later, and have a few hours for myself before going back to bed. On those few nights when I slept right through I remember feeling robbed — like I had missed some absolutely essential component of my self-nourishment program.

Somehow it’s different now. I think that part of the reason I feel so less dependent on having this time is because my children are older and my mommy-time comes in smaller doses all through the day, but I don’t think this is the primary reason. In recent years I’ve developed a new appreciation for my motherly tasks at home. Working outside the home, at a job that took so much of my time and energy, has made me so grateful for the time I can devote to my home and family.

Now the times that I want to prolong and savor are different.

• Reading to my children (even Calvin has been asking for bedtime stories lately)
• Cooking dinner for the family.
• Walking the dog.
• Watching the nightly after-dinner wild rumpus.

Though I still love my moments alone (like this morning — oh, the eastern sky is getting lighter) I know that it is those family moments that I will remember forever.